Everyone have their problems and worries, so do I... My health is not improving for the pass few months and it's bound to get worst in the near future. To make things worst, I also suffer from mild depression which I'm not really happy about. Tumor is still there, it sucks that once in a while you'll wake up in the middle of the night breathless and in pain. The tumor is not as active as what the doctors said, but at the same time it's impossible to remove it at the moment. I din know how long I have to bare with this pain. Hope it ends soon. :(
Now is the depression part. I won't deny that I get offended or hurt easily compare to normal people. I treat most of my friends the way I hope how other people will treat me. Of course, that's a little bit unfair to say because not everyone have the same thinking. To me, my friends are my life! Without them, life is almost meaningless to me. But once a while, there is this depressing moment where you'll feel that not even one friend is there for you when you need them the most. Those moments are one of the most saddest feeling for me. Frankly speaking, no matter how busy I am or how tired I am, I will always make time for them. But when it comes to my turn that needs their help or just someone to speak too, they are always busy. Of course I'm not pointing at any specific person in detail. If you think you're one of them, then too bad. If you think you're not then good for you and thank you for being there.
I've thought of moving away to somewhere I could start fresh from everything, like work, friends, and health. I don't blame the friends who don't have time for me. It's not their fault also. I'm sure they all have something more important to do. I'm going to change my number starting from next month. To those who have my number, that's because I want you to continue to be in my life. You make meaningful for me to continue everyday. And for the ones who don't have it, well... Guess that's goodbye for us then. Don't be sad. I'm sure without me will be much better and less trouble free right? No one will bug you in future already :)
This won't be my last post, but it'll definitely be the last time talking about how pathetic life is. I won't expect anything from anyone anymore, cuz that will just probably end up in disappointment which is not what I want right now. If really my time is near, I would prefer to spend it with people who appreciate me and not people who are always too busy for you but only finds you when they need something. It's really foolish of me going though all these for a year already. It's time to change for good and hopefully I'll have friends which I can really count on in future.
